This day last year was a “first day of the rest of my life” kind of day. I had woken up from a wonderful party where all my friends had gathered to celebrate my “retirement” from my full time job as a Young People’s Services Librarian, I’d been working in libraries for 10 years. So although I would still be working on my charity project at the prison library, I would no longer be a proper children’s librarian! That was a big deal to me. And look how lovely the library family were – I still miss them.
I was so so moved by how many of my friends came to my house to party with me. I felt very loved and supported – and I am thinking perhaps I should organise another party soon?
I woke up in this new world on the 8th and by the 12th I was heading off on my first tour of Germany. I just got back from my second tour of Germany on Sunday – so it seems things have gone full circle.
As so often goes with life, it feels like the year has gone very quickly and at the same time I can’t really remember exactly how things used to be, the changes and the time have creeped up on me.
I wanted see where the road took me but I also had plans for this year too and mostly they stumbled in to place.
I wanted to see a bit more of the world and sing my songs while I was at it I managed to wind my way to Germany, Brussels, Wales, France, Iceland, Ireland and a few far flung corners of England too. I’ve met some wonderful people and seen some beautiful places. I’ve also had a couple of calamities – which is good, I think, because I lived to tell the tale.
I wanted to spend more time on my music, and I have. There aren’t many days I leave the house without my guitar. I am either playing music, recording music, writing music or teaching music. It is a wonderful, insane, pinch me am I dreaming sort of a life to live – and that makes it all the more easier when I am paying overdue charges because my bills are late again or living off of Aldi soup.
I wanted to develop my Storybook Dads charity project and I have been able to do that. I can’t really understand how I managed to do that at the same time as working my last job. It still has lots of flaws but it is getting there, and it continues to make a real difference to the families who use the project. I recently sat down and started planning all my “dreams” for next year and really putting in to place some more sustainability and development for this was top of my list.
I wanted to be there more for my friends. Many of my close friends have quite different lives to me now and we have to make an effort to make sure we remain what we’ve always been. I got to watch one of my friends little girls for 6 weeks while she attended a course, it was the best afternoon of my week by miles. I also babysat for my friends son (he is only five months, I was terrified) but her and her husband got a date 😉
This Saturday I have planned a “Super Mums” afternoon that involves yoga, meditation, tea and cake for my Mum friends. Maybe those things sound like obvious things to be doing for your friends but I wasn’t finding the time before – I want to be able to do more of this stuff next year. If you’re my friend – if your life is similar or different or somewhere inbetween – I want to see you more, talk to you more, be part of your world more 🙂
I also wanted to mend my broken heart. Sometimes I think it has mended. Sometimes out of nowhere it sneaks up on me and reminds me that it is very much in pieces. Lately I am starting to think that maybe it is always going to be a bit broken, it’s one of my defining features and there are people who will love me all the more for it – a bit like my lazy left eye!!! Which someone I have a lot of time for told me he has never noticed…which is silly because it is as clear as….well as clear as the eye on my face… 🙂
Apart from the bits where I talk about my broken heart, I tend to try and be positive in this blog but like all human lives there’s been some hard parts to this year, some have taught me things, some have just left me feeling totally helpless and blue. But overall when I look back this year has been a lovely year.
Thank you for being a part of it. 🙂 xxxx
So many people have been part of it that I can’t possibly thank or mention everyone but….
Colin Weston – Thank you for believing in my music and helping me share it across the world. Everything about Independent Music Collective is a dream and I am so proud to be part of it. Gigs in shoe shops, mobile buses and student unions in Iceland – who knew? It is no exaggeration to say you’ve helped me achieve things I have been dreaming of since I was about 12. Thank you from the bottom of my heart…..:) In your face…. xxx
Mum and Dad – For the loans, for the love, the advice, the shoulders to cry on, for looking after the pets when I go off adventuring, for mowing the lawn 😉 and so much more xxxx
Jess Distill – for asking me to join you on your trip to Iceland, for being brave and following your dreams – you make me want to be brave too.
For inviting me to be part of The Company of Players, you have no idea what an impact that has had on me, I have never felt more welcomed and more like a real musician when in the company of you all. Thank you xxxxx
There’s so many more people I want to mention who have been such a big part of this year Lauren, Paul, Spinky, Amy, Lewis, Lydia, Clare, Tony, John….the list goes on and on. I have so many lovely friends.
Lots of love
From me and my lazy left eye!!!